


something in the way we were

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Falling Out of Love, Getting Back Together, Jealousy, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27111043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: They say you don’t know what you have until you lose it.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 53
Collections: Anonymous





	something in the way we were

**Author's Note:**

> I really don’t know what this is. My brain decided to bully my two favs. I’m sorry (but also not really).

It’s a slow process. The type where little things seeped into the cracks of their foundation, breaking them steadily, heavily, and without remorse.

Oikawa would be lying if he said that he saw it coming. He didn’t, not at all. He could swear that it was only yesterday he was brimming with love after Hajime’s confession. He swore that he could remember the feeling in his face, that twinge of pain from smiling so hard. 

But then how could it be that now, he thought, at this very instance, that love felt so foreign, as if it were a feeling connected to him by a thread being pulled a million miles away.

The realization twisted sharply in Oikawa.

When did he fall out of love? 

Oikawa stared at the ceiling, lying back on the bed full of memories. The apartment felt as if it were closing in. The walls, which witnessed every moment of his with Hajime, every kiss, every argument, every absence, began looming closer, judging him and screaming his every mistake committed in the past year.

He had to tell him.

But, how could he? 

\---

“I like you” Hajime’s eyes were set, determined in a way Oikawa felt so familiar.

Hajime never did anything carelessly. No, he was headstrong, always so sure of himself in a way so irresistible. Oikawa never understood how the girls in their class did not flock to Hajime they way they did him. 

“I like you too, Iwa-chan” Oikawa gleamed, jumping into his arms. He was surrounded with that straightforward love instantly and without thought.

\---

It was only nature that they moved in together.

The apartment was small. One bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room. Oikawa’s mom insisted that the two move into a place close to both of their universities.

“What would Tooru do without you Hajime?” She joked as she helped unpack and organize their kitchen.

Oikawa chuckled as he placed their rice cooker on the counter. He thought nothing of it, why would he ever not have Hajime beside him?

\---

The transition to Tokyo was much smoother that he thought it would be. He had classes in all types of subjects, each begging for Oikawa to fall in love them. He preferred his communications course, but marketing was a close second.

He absolutely fell in love with his new volleyball team, each teammate had their own quirks that Oikawa was determined to figure out and use on the court. 

Omi-chan, he decided, was his favorite. The man was tall, handsome, and _good_. Good enough to beat Ushiwaka-chan.

Kuro-chan or Kou-chan had to come in second. The pair never failed to challenge the setter. He felt a certain, _je ne sais quoi_ , with them. Something similar to Makki and Mattsun, Hajime had concluded once, but Oikawa didn’t buy it. The two were definitely rowdier than his high school friends.

Parties definitely became Oikawa’s third love. He loved the atmosphere, getting to know new people, having to explain that he doesn’t have a major yet because he’s testing out the waters and figuring himself out. He loved the feeling of tequila burning his throat and the cheers that followed.

Oikawa was thriving in college.

He never noticed that Hajime was not. 

\---

It was stressful. The promise of freedom didn’t fill his spirits like it did Tooru’s. Iwaizumi was a man of structure and there was nothing structured about college.

His classes were intense, harder, as a premed major with targeted courses.

He didn’t understand the culture of college. He made it a point not to prioritize getting drunk every weekend and occasional weekday like Tooru did. This didn’t make him very popular, he concluded early on.

He watched his lover come home late night after night, the smell of alcohol permeating throughout the room each time he crawled into bed. And yet, despite his antics, Tooru never failed to go to class, ace his exams, and attend his practices and matches.

Iwaizumi, on the other hand, was barely making it through his classes, pulling his hair out each time a test or essay was close to due. Why would he want to go to a party to add stress to the situation?

Makki insisted that it would get better if he prioritized. The kindred soul seemed to understand Iwaizumi’s struggle.

The two of them quit the volleyball team within the first two weeks.

Iwaizumi regretted telling Tooru. 

He tried. He tried explaining each time the topic was brought up over dinner or in bed that his classes were overwhelming, that he needed more time in the library, not on the court and especially not at the parties Tooru insisted dragging him too.

Tooru pouted each time, dismissed the topic or started a fight.

It felt as if Iwaizumi could never win. Every single time, he found himself having to comfort a confused Tooru with promises that he knew he couldn’t keep.

He tried.

He was failing.

\---

Iwaizumi knew the moment he walked into the apartment.

The air was stale, in a way that made him want to vomit and let the dread keep him from taking another step in.

He stopped.

He hated coming home.

The tension between the two had been building over time. He didn’t want to come home to the silence that had filled the home for weeks now.

Iwaizumi knew.

He _tried_.

He really tried, but there’s only so much you can do when your best friend is falling out of love with you. When he didn’t try to understand. When he was making it so easy to fall out of love with him.

Iwaizumi couldn’t remember the last time he enjoyed being with Tooru.

\---

“I’m moving out,” Hajime announces one night. They are lying back to back, the first time in a while that they shared a bed.

Oikawa stilled. His breath became difficult to control. He knew this would happen, somehow that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Makki found a place near campus. I’m moving out when our lease ends.”

Oikawa nods, shaking the bed. The movement and a small exhale is the only answer he gives Hajime.

\---

The first month without Iwaizumi is hell.

The emptiness that fills the space that Iwaizumi once occupied haunts Oikawa. He misses the Godzilla poster that hung on the left wall, the cheap styling gel that spiked hair better than any of Oikawa’s expensive products, the laundry basket that used to sit in the corner and filled the room of a smell so familiar he didn’t even notice it until it was gone. 

Oikawa missed the weight of another body sleeping near him, promising the protection that had been so constant that being without it left Oikawa vulnerable and cold. 

They say you don’t know what you have until you lose it. 

Oikawa thinks a lot about words his mother spoke the day they moved in .

\---

For the first time, Iwaizumi thrives.

His classes change. They become easier to handle with the help of his study groups. Study groups become friends. His friends invite him out. And for the first time in what feels like years, Iwaizumi has fun. 

He goes to parties. He invites girls and guys to his room after too many drinks.

His professor offers him an internship at the clinic on campus.

For the first time, without Tooru, Iwaizumi _thrives_.

“You look good,” Makki smirks, one night after drinks.

Iwaizumi smiles, he feels good.

He feels good, he convinces himself.

\---

They haven’t spoken or much less seen each other in over 6 months.

Oikawa walks onto the campus, fear and excitement filling him.

Because of the game, no other reason, he convinces himself.

The gym is just as he remembered.

He is going to win this game, he decides.

He is going to win and take a look around campus after. Find a party. It’s the least he deserves.

Oikawa misses having fun. 

\---

“Iwaizumi-kun,” Aiko-chan said. The first year student looked at him with eyes full of expectation.

“Mmm?” he hums.

“Suna-san told me you like volleyball. There’s a match today. Would you like to go with me?”

Iwaizumi has always been a sucker for a cute face with nice _mousy brown_ hair.

“Sure. What time?”

\---

Iwaizumi met Miya Atsumu once, at first day of practice. He immediately decided that he was the type to steer away from.

He finally understood his initial gut instinct.

There he was, standing over Tooru, a cup of who knows what in hand, and a smirk on his face.

Iwaizumi watched as Miya leaned in, whispering something into Oikawa’s ear, making the brunnette blush.

Iwaizumi poured himself a shot of whiskey and drank it in one hard gulp. He ignored the burn.

Healso ignored the voice in his head telling him he was an idiot for going to the match and he _especially_ ignored the one asking why he bothered even following the teams to this party.

The brunette made no effort to leave.

Iwaizumi took another shot.

\---

“Iwaizumi-kun, can I call you Hajime,” Aiko-chan sat on his lap. The first year had a dazed look on her face, probably from trying to keep up with Iwaizumi, and he knows he should tell her to go back to her dorm. Without him.

But he doesn’t, his alcohol induced brain figuring he’d give Oikawa a show, like the one he and Miya had given him earlier in the night.

He glances over to the brunette, who was standing near the kitchen entrance now, _still with Miya_.

Iwaizumi nodded his head at the girl on his lap.

“Hajime,” she declares between giggles before leaning down and taking his lips.

Iwaizumi winces at the feeling.

\---

“I can’t believe you” Oikawa announces, pushing the girl off of the target of his anger, in a burst of confidence that is very much dwindling with each passing second.

“It hasn’t even been a year and here you are, kissing someone in front of me! I knew you were a bastard but I didn’t think you were this bad _Hajime_ ,” he tried to sound tough, but all that came out was a whine that paired well with the tears brimming at his eyes.

He was being irrational, he knew this. Hajime didn’t owe him anything. Oikawa understood that he had come to this party free will. Yet, his head was clouded with tequila, a little bit a vodka, and blind jealousy and _hurt._

How dare this girl, who hadn’t known Hajime more than a few months think that she has the right to call him Hajime? She didn’t spend every important moment with him. She didn’t know who he was, not like Oikawa knew him.

How dare Hajime _let_ her?

Hajime looked at him, stunned, the alcohol slowing his reaction.

“Who are you to tell me what to do,” he answered, eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m your best friend.”

“You ignored me for months when we were dating. We haven't spoken to each other since. _We broke up Tooru_.”

“ _I know_ and I’m sorry,” his voice cracked.

Hajime’s face softened at his words or maybe it was his tone. His instincts taking over and reaching out to wipe the tears threatening to spill from Oikawa’s eyes and pulling him into a warm embrace.

They stood like that for what felt like hours. Oikawa leaned in further at the realization, wrapping his arms tighter around Hajime. He wasn’t going to let him go so soon.

“I miss you” he hears whispered quietly in his ear. Oikawa stopped, pulling back enough to look straight at Hajime.

“ _Hajime_ ,” he cried.

The noise around them faded, neither of them noticing the eyes on them nor that the wretched girl and Miya had left.

\---

“So, are you two back together?” Mattsun asked, slurping the smoothie Iwaizumi had begrudgingly bought him.

“Something like that.” He grunted, sipping his own drink.

“No, no. You don’t get to be vague. I have to hear you two break your bed every other night. Have you DTRed or is it casual?” Makki asked.

“Iwa-chan is mine,” a voice sounded behind the group.

Iwaizumi blushed, punching Tooru in his side as he sat on the bench beside him.

“Idiot.”

“But it’s true, you’re my Iwa-chan”

Yeah, yeah he was.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive any errors. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
